I first joined Twitter in January 2009 – meaning I’ve now been an annoying over-sharer on multiple social networks for five years now. That’s HALF A DECADE.
The mid-teen years are obviously bathed in angst (I don’t dare look back over my old MySpace blogs, fucking hell) but, looking back over this Archive thingy you can ask Twitter to send you, apparently the late teens and early twenties are no better. At least not if you’re an insufferable moron like myself.
Below I’ve shared some of my most cringe-worthy tweets from the last five years. Half to teach myself a lesson, and half because they’re just too weird to sit on.
To anyone who is still following me today – THANKS.
You know those moments when you find yourself downloading the Atomic Kitten Greatest Hits and you think “…What am I doing with my life.” May 4, 2009
No, Shaun. Nobody knows ‘those moments’.
OK the Sugababes story was quite surprising but CALM DOWN EVERYONE, nobody died! September 21, 2009
Apparently the Sugababes line-up overhaul was MASSIVE NEWS
@pixiesongs ‘Mama Do’ … TUNE!!!!!! Uh oh UUUHHH ohh… April 24, 2009
Fanboying over Pixie Lott. Excellent.
NEARLY cried at Gossip Girl, so now in that weird “do i need to get it out of my system?!” state! April 23, 2009
Was it my time of the month?
needs to stop making a big arrrse of himself! May 19, 2009
Nothing like third-person angst
just sunk a whole carton of orange juice May 19, 2009
Big news. Good to see the resolution made in the previous tweet lasted long.
So ‘The Bill’ has been axed. I haven’t watched it since the late 90s but I’d imagine some will be upset. March 26, 2010
Fabulous analysis, there. Fabulous.
Absolutely dumbfounded by the kindness of strangers tonight. August 4, 2013
Like a modern day Blanche DuBois.
You know those situations that are so unfair on you, even though there’s really nothing wrong with them? I hate those :( April 30, 2009
You think you’ve actually found someone good and then KAPOW! May 1, 2009
OH WOW. Brilliant. Cosmic! Absoloutley cosmic. August 4, 2010
I quite like the new Scouting For Girls single. Am I a bad person? March 27, 2010
rehearsals can SUCK OUT May 8, 2009
Alright calm down
in sheringham for coupla days. we think itll be wild to watch the whole harry potter franchise in NO PARTICULAR ORDER August 5, 2010
Sure know how to have fun
thinking May 25, 2009
Good to know.